Perhaps having someone in mind has becomes more of a daily routine for me.
A daily routine in which I enjoy the bittersweetness of being tortured by the uncertainties co-built by hopefulness and hopelessness.
Maybe I need this daily routine to actually feel... to actually feel that I still feel...
Bittersweetness, the two opposite feelings being put into one, is therefore what I really need.
It's the feeling that your heart if being... grabbed, twisted, squeezed...
Yet it is out of an affectionate feeling... a feeling of liking someone... that this mixed feeling grows.
It is perhaps the feeling which makes sure that
唉 (sound: "ai"; sound of sighing)
愛上了 (sound of first character: "ai"; fallen in love)